I just got this new job, which is kind of cool, but it kind of sucks. My old one was perfect, at least for me. I had a pretty big cubicle, didn’t have to attend a lot of useless meetings and was given a lot of freedom how to get my job done. […]
Drug Test
I got a friend who’s always trying to game the system somehow. When we were roommates in college, he was the kind of guy who only showed up to class during midterm exams. He was pretty smart, but also pretty lazy. Recently, he told me he’d been laid off from his job, but […]
Desert Witches
I’ve been on a lot of blind dates in my life. Most were pretty lame. I didn’t like her, she didn’t like me. Some ended with some pretty easy sex, but then we never connected much after that. This, of course, was in the early days of the Internet. When it was […]
The Violin
She told me that I needed to improve my creative side. I’d been working for this engineering company for the last eight years. And we haven’t been doing so well. Losing a little bit of market share every year. So they brought in a new manager of the R and D department. Said […]
My Wicked Girlfriend
I had this girlfriend, who is now an ex girlfriend. And the process of her transitioning from girlfriend status to ex-girlfriend status was like how that one famous philosopher described mankind before the invention of civilization: Nasty, brutish, and short. The conversation was over before I even knew what was happening. She […]
They See You
I’m an idiot. I got fed up with my neighbors, who would smoke pretty much every day, stink up the place. I kept complaining but all the landlord ever did was just politely ask them to not do that. To which they would always say, “Yeah, whatever, we’ll stop.” But they never stopped. […]
Mike The Pizza Guy
Michael was pretty embarrassed. He had a degree in 14th Century French Literature, but couldn’t find a job to save his life. He was sure he’d be offered at least an associate’s position where he received his Masters. The plan was to find a decent thesis advisor, work closely with him […]
Bargain Basement – The Eternal Torture
I’ve always prided myself on my negotiation skills. Back when I was in college, I loved haggling at flea markets, I still do. The back and forth, the techniques we both use, it’s a blast. One of the most powerful techniques you can use is to simply repeat their offer, […]
No Way Out
My friends are assholes. They’d been talking smack about this trip for the past six weeks. But when we met up in the parking lot, they were still big round bags of floppy dicks. They clearly hadn’t done anything to get ready. Me, on the other hand, I actually dropped six […]
The Non-Dental Chair Experiment
I didn’t know how long I was supposed to wait. They told me to show up with my tools, and everybody would meet around nine. It was already ten thirty, and nobody. No calls. No service, which would explain the no calls. The address seemed like a normal address. But it was a lone building. […]
